Intoxication
by aru-monster
Summary: For pirates, their intoxication is beloved rum. For Hinata Hyuga, it is Naruto Uzumaki. AU Pirate fic, sasusaku, naruhina, nejiten. Rate M for language and innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of this. This is the original work of Masashi Kishimoto. In fact, I think he's hella brilliant. Also, Credits to Pirates of the Carribean, Captain Kidd, and my other books inspiration wise.

This is **NOT **a Pirates of the Carribean rewrite, I need to let you know.

I got this idea in the middle of the night, so I'm sorry if it's not up to par. My writing skills have been pitifully mediocre lately, and I don't really like that prospect. Oh well, this is for you all.

By the way, this is a NaruHina and a Sasusaku. Which should be painfully obvious.

And you all know that Naruto's a pirate at heart, eh? Okay, I'm done.

**OO**

"**L**ady Hyuga?" A distraught attendant rushed into the room, red faced and puffing. The delicate daughter of the Lord Hyuga raised her head from the china teacup, eyes questioning. "What is it?" Soft syllables tumbled from her lips. She sat poised at the edge of the chaise in the well-decorated room.

He bowed, still in a rush to speak, his face pallor. The ship lightly rolled beneath them. "Ma'am, there's been a sighting of a strange ship on the horizon."

_Pirates._ Hinata's hand trembled slightly, but she determinedly rose to her feet, sweeping her skirts aside without another word. Lacy parasol left behind on the seat, she gathered a handful of silky fabric in her slim fingers, lifting the hem of her gown as she ascended the staircase.

The scent of salt and heavy rainwater assaulted her in the nose with a wave of nausea as she reached the deck. There was a light drizzle that slickly coated the deck with rainwater, but she paid it no mind. She spotted her cousin Neji up on the poop deck with the other men, pulling ropes with grunts of strain.

Why oh why did her father let her go alone? It was like fate that a threatening ship could appear now.

"My Lady?" Hinata swiveled to regard her pompous cousin nervously. He looked tired, cravat mussed and his hair windblown out of it's usually neat ponytail. His voice was ever chideful. "It is not wise to be on deck at the moment, miss. As you know, there's been a mild setback."

Hinata nodded, and wrung her lambskin gloves. "Is there any way I can help?"

White-eyes annoyed at the prospect, the boy shook his head. "No. You will not carry firearms like a wench."

Neji turned around, inspecting the group of the ship's crew. "They are loading the cannons with lead, and all guns are at ready. Battle seems to be the only option on their minds, and I will not let you be a part of it."

"What about turning back? It isn't too late to do so, Neji?!" The ship's prow could be made out from the mist, sails down, and it filled her with dread.

The first shot came with the boom of thunder. Her cousin collided with her to dodge it. Wood and flesh dyed red with his blood, Neji growled in anger. "Go down to your quarters, Lady Hinata. This is not the place for you!"

"But you're hurt!" She protested, concern written all over her face.

"I said go!"

Pirates and ship waifs were already crawling onto the ships, all bearing weapons. Hinata, half sobbing at her misfortune, tried to run forward. Strong hands clamped at her waist and the girl squeaked audibly.

"Whoa there cricket!" An obnoxiously playful voice murmured, "No running on wet floors." Before Hinata could say anything in protest, she was righted on her feet. A pair of twinkling cyan eyes held her gaze, and their bearer smirked. "Now then, that's better. Wouldn't want me crew seeing your knickers, would you?"

Immediately her cheeks clouded with a flaming red, and it wasn't just because of his vulgar comment. The girl's head bent down until her face was surrounded by a curtain of ebony hair. "Ah... Um.."

The pirate snickered. "I thought not."

A frusterated shout came from on the quarterdeck. "Lady Hinata, what are you doing?! That man's a pirate!" Neji shouted, his face covered in dirt, with splinters tangled in his hair. At the mention of her name, all the events seemed to pause. What purpose was there if she was willingly in the enemy's hands already?

Hinata glanced concernedly at her ' savior ' with the realization of her mild naivete. "Oh?" The boy had his eyes fixed on her cousin, and wrath flashed in his gaze for a moment. Then, it seemed like a mask was pulled over, and the golden - haired pirate swaggered towards Neji. He laughed again, sounding forced.

"Mhhmm, don't like me in the presence of your relation, Bastard?" He pocketed the ornate pistol effortlessly. The rain pittered in the background, leaving him doused with water drops. "Are you still a Momma's Boy?"

Neji visibly gritted his teeth at the latter comment, instead straightening his posture so that there was a visible difference between him and the pirate. "I'd rather be obliged to my family than be _a son of a gun." _ He replied frostily, his hands resting on the railing. The crews of both ships watched the word battle vaguely, confused.

At what Neji said, the blond pirate bowed until his tri-corned felt hat brushed his scuffed knees. "Why thank you. Too soft to use profanity though? That's a terrible shame." Boots clacking on the deck, he strode to and fro like a drunk man, still always careful to keep his balance. Neji glared down at the swaggering tom, pearlescent eyes bearing no emotion. "Profanity is a hindrance to better oneself. Why should I need to use it?"

"Better oneself? Don't make me laugh." he stopped in his tracks, and swiveled, "If you want to ' better oneself ', I'd advise you to cut those lovely locks of yours, Hyuga. You look like a dame. A damn ugly one, too."

"And you, Uzumaki Naruto? Did you age before your time, with those whiskers?"

Naruto tsked correctively at Neji, waving his finger. His other hand lay close to the pistol, ready to draw at any time. "Now now, don't be petty. I have business with you believe it or not.." He said, swerving around the question. He sidled up beside Hinata, his hand tracing across her shoulderblades nonchalantly, his coat a bright crimson against the light blue fabric of her dress. The boy grinned, visibly taunting Neji with the nervousness of his cousin Hinata. As for the recipient of Naruto's unexpected attentions, she stood stiffly, heart beating frantically in her chest.

"Of course." Came the reply, short and tense. Neji Hyuuga had never believed that Naruto Uzumaki, Pirate extrordinaire knew what the word business_ meant_, but he sounded sober enough.

The Uzumaki boy batted Hinata's cheeks with a hand, like a kitten does with a toy. Then, without a word in warning, Naruto called out to the Hyuga crew with a demanding shout. "Alright then! That's the spirit -- now then, rum for me!"

Leaving the poor girl behind, the whiskered one sauntered towards the Cabin of the Hyuga ship, with the crew scrambling behind. Hinata watched him go, face still blushed red. "Oh my.."

Someone had heard the hullabaloo, and clanked up the steps with a huff. Hanabi had seen the retreating backs of Neji and the man in red, and was none too happy. "I missed all the commotion...What'd you see?" When there was no reply, the girl gathered her pink skirts and looked around. "Hinata?"

Their ladyship was decked in a dead faint.


	2. Chapter 2

This is a short preview of the next chapter, since you've all been so nice :D

Okay then, here's the answers.

-(Is Naruto like Jack Sparrow) I think it's inevitable that there is going to be some similarities observed between them. Both are funny, a bit perverted, and both will have a penchant for rum (Because rum is good :) Even so, I'm trying not to make this a Pirates of the Carribean re-write.

-(Is he really famous in this fic) We'll have to wait and see :D

-(Is he going to be really drunk throughout the fic) In some parts more than others. If not, he'll probably have a big mouth.

Thanks for the reviews guys :D

_000____

"Naruto Uzumaki, stop stuffing my inkwells into your shirt."

The pirate visibly drooped and deftly put the trinkets back onto the desk. He sat awkwardly in the chair, now out of his element. The inside was too_ fine_, the panel work of the finest cherry wood, the chair too cushy, the rum smelling too refined. It all was very rich and enjoyable, but the pirate never shook off the feeling that he didn't belong.

Besides, Rum was better when crude.

"Hyuga! I need a favor." The boy mustered up in a forced tone.

"No favours for you." The Hyuga hissed, white eyes dangerously slitted. Now without a woman present, he could act at his temper's whims. Neji was still smarting over an old wound, and now was the perfect time to vent.

"You have humiliated my cousin and boarded my ship, what else do you--"

"Yet."

"Yet what?" Neji thudded, and it was then that any smidgen of faint respect was shattered like the bowsprit of the Uzumaki's emancipated ship.

"I haven't humiliated your cousin-- _yet_."

Oh, that was the last straw."Why do I even deal with you?" Neji huffed, crossing his arms emphatically. The pirate replied with a devilish grin that made him nervous.

"Because a dear old friend once saved me neck and I know I can trust him."

"Damn you!" The captain yelled and turned his back to the red-coated Uzumaki. The Uzumaki, fluent in the language _á la Hyuga_, took this as the cue to speak.

"So then, me buckoe.. er.. remember the Uchiha's powder monkey?" He asked all in a rush. The nails had been all mangled up now, so he resorted to smiling nervously.

Neji paused, then nodded. Itachi the gunner and his assistant, Sasuke, had once been in the Hyuga service, a long time ago. Itachi deserted and hadn't been heard from again. Sasuke had only been twelve.

"Yes. I remember."

"Bugger." The pirate blurted, and began to pick his nails. Neji dabbed at the wound on his arm and murmured a hasty expletive. Obviously Uzumaki had angered another citizen of the world, and now this citizen was out to get him. "You're being chased by the navy again, am I right?"

"How'd ya _know_?"

The puzzle was coming together and it wasn't looking good."So I'm presuming that Uchiha Sasuke, better known as ' Powder Monkey ' by you, is at the head of the search?" Neji rumbled, and crossed his arms.

"Hyuga, I don't understand why you weren't born a gypsy that reads palms."

"Because then I wouldn't be here talking to _you_, would I?"

There was silence for a moment.

The Uzumaki leaned back against the plush seat and gave the Hyuga an anticipating gaze. Clearly the pirate believed that the code of camaraderie had rubbed off on Neji.

Blue eyes filmed over, and the pirate sighed in acceptance. "Davy Jones' drawers, to think a Hyuga's afraid of Itachi's damn _little brother_!"

It clearly worked. "Little brother, my arse! I don't even know why I'm agreeing to this when we're clearly just going to get-"

On another note, the Hyuga leaned forward and hissed through his teeth. "Do you know how difficult it was to delay the ropes over your neck?"

The pirate bowed flamboyantly with a wave of his hand. "And for that you have me thanks."

Neji leaned forward over the desk, and the pirate audibly gulped. Exactly when in the five years at sea had Neji turned so damn scary? Oh, right, It must've been when he had started being the Hyuga family's bitch.

"Neji Hyuga, I don't care if you're talking to a frothing cannibal, I want answers now!" Naruto fell off his chair with surprise.

"Bugger, woman, why now?" He screamed back. Before Neji could get to the door, it swung open with a bang. A short haired girl stomped right up to the red-coated tangle of limbs, and yelled.

"You! You're the one who Lady Hinata's all curious about!" She shrilled, pointing a delicate white finger at him. She narrowed her eyebrows and inspected him.

Neji sighed. "Miss Hanabi, I don't think--"

"Well, at least she's not having an affair with The Butler."

"Who the _hell_ is having an affair with The Butler!" Someone from the Poop deck had heard, and was now ambling over.

Naruto flailed anxiously, and pointed to Neji. "He is!"

The crew member scratched his neck, then yawned boredly "Isn't sodomy a sin?" The sun burned down on them all for a few, awkward seconds meanwhile Neji formulated a plan to get out of this mess.

He couldn't jump ship, and he certainly didn't want to drown, so he decided the way that'd cause him the least pain.

"You there, Shikamaru, was it? Could you please escort our visitor to the hold? I'm sure he wants to see the conditions of the hull." Neji's eyes crinkled as he put on the sternest frown he could. Shikamaru tugged the red handkerchief round his arm, then sighed. Neji often changed the subject when feeling pressured.

"Troublesome pirate."

Naruto, who had been scrutinizing them all with his big blue eyes, decided to retort. "Oi! That's_ Captain Uzumaki _to you." He retorted.

Shikamaru sighed, then ambled towards the stairs. "C'mon, _Captain Uzumaki_. 'Spect you'd want to see how your current ride is doing."

"Of course, miscellaneous crew member I don't know. Of course."

Neji watched them walk away with a sigh of relief. Chestnut hair knotted and in his eyes, the man turned to regard Hanabi. "You will keep Lady Hinata away from him, you understand?"

She raised a finely shaped eyebrow, but finally gave in. "Yes, Cousin Neji. I'll make sure she doesn't hurt herself or anything that'll get you in trouble." She said, then flipped her billowy pink skirts and stalked down to the hold.


End file.
